It’s almost the end of the month, so I wanted to post a slightly more detailed update in terms of how my progress has been on the first month of my Happiness Project, which focused on dating.
The first two weeks actually went pretty well. I was excited about the people I met on the online dating websites and went on more dates than I expected! There were a few duds, like the date I left in the middle of, or the anime nut who shared his sad poetry with me and asked me my opinions on nudity in general (I decided not to meet up with him). There was one second date and one really good date.
But overall, I honestly started to feel overwhelmed with it all. When there were several people I was chatting with regularly and meeting up with, it was tiring to keep up. It can be pretty disheartening also to constantly feel disappointed on dates. It also didn’t help that one of the apps I use- Coffee Meets Bagel- stopped having matches for me after about Week 2.
It makes me want to take a break from it all. I guess it’s much harder to be dating when I’m looking for a life partner, not just a relationship partner. I’m really tired of games and drama. I’m pretty settled- I own a condo, a dog, a car, and have a full-time job. Hardly anyone I’ve seen let alone met with on dating sites is anywhere near that life stage.
It’s frustrating. I’m not sure if it means it’s a good idea to just take a break from dating and enjoy my life, letting love come when it will (or won’t), or if that means I should try harder- chat with more people, go on more dates.
I’ve been trying to finish out the month, but I’ve noticed that I put less and less effort into my goals- checking only one dating site, taking a few days to message people back. I thought this month would be fun, but I’m already counting down the days until August, my healthy eating month, which is definitely not something I expected.
Maybe my priorities have changed. Yes, I still want a family more than anything and would love to have a life-partner. Yes, I sometimes feel lonely and wish that I wasn’t single. But, I’m feeling really good in my life otherwise. I’m realizing I don’t need other people to be happy. I don’t want a partner if that person doesn’t fit into my life.
I’m not the kind of person to sit by and let something happen instead of going for it, but in this case, I’m thinking it might be best to focus on my other goals in life and be open to, but not obsessed with, finding a relationship.