I’ve always wanted to go to a Masquerade Ball. I’m not really sure that these happen in real life, but I see them in movies and TV shows all the time. You know the kind- where people wear fancy ball gowns and ornate masks, dance to a live orchestra, drink champagne, and eat fancy hors d’oeuvres.
I honestly have no idea where this desire came from, but it’s something I’ve wanted since college. I thought about it again, because the swordfighting club I used to belong to in Pittsburgh is having a Masquerade Ball in a few months. My first thought was I need to go to this! And the second was But I don’t have anyone to take me.
I don’t have a good solution to that second problem. I’ve been feeling really disenchanted with dating lately, as I’ve mentioned. But it’s not the fact that I can’t find dates or that I couldn’t find a partner if I wanted to. It’s that, well, I don’t know anyone who would take me to a masquerade ball.
I’m speaking of this, of course, in a metaphorical sense. The kind of person I want to be with is someone who wants to make me happy, who will read a post like this and say I’m going to surprise the person I love by taking her to a Masquerade Ball. For awhile, I thought my ex was that person. We talked about a lot of things like this that I wanted to do and I would dream of him taking me. But he never did. He never listened and he never gave.
Love is not an emotion. Feeling passionately about someone, wanting to be around them, feeling butterflies when you think of someone is infatuation. It’s obsession. These are not love, but they are so often mistaken for it.
Love is selflessness. The ultimate way to show your love for someone is to do things for them. To care so much about another person that you put them first, you think of their needs before theirs.
Part of the reason I find dating and relationships so frustrating is that I want so much to have that selfless love. I want so much to find a partner who is my equal in everything and who will selflessly love me as much I as will them. And I won’t take anything less.
Stop wasting your time with people who won’t take you to masquerade balls. Stop giving to people who only take from you. You deserve more than that.
Oh and if anyone wants to come with me to a Masquerade Ball, it’s Friday November 3rd in the suburbs of Pittsburgh.