Being Yourself While Being Sick

I’m finally recovering from bronchitis, which I’ve had for about a week and a half. The first few days had me stuck on my couch with a fever and no voice. I took one full day and two half days off of work- something I never do.

It was immensely frustrating.

While I was sick, I felt like I couldn’t do anything. Especially the things that made me ME. I didn’t have the mental fortitude to do much other than watch TV or nap or lay on the couch. I don’t mind watching TV, but I probably spend far less time than the average person doing so. Sitting around all day doing nothing makes me feel terrible, rather than relaxed. I had to skip work, two friends’ birthday celebrations, a Magic event, and a week and a half of boxing.

I didn’t feel like myself, because I wasn’t able to do any of the things that made me feel like myself. After I started getting better, I spent awhile introspecting about this. Okay, regardless of whether or not I’m sick, I spend a lot of time introspecting about who I am. But this experience was more enlightening than usual.

I felt like I couldn’t make any progress on my goals. I made very little progress on any creative goals and I stopped paying attention to what I was eating, because I had very little appetite and getting myself to eat anything was a challenge. I spent a lot of time home alone, instead of spending time with friends and family. I hated not being able to do these things, but didn’t quite feel well enough to do them.

I didn’t expect how much I would miss boxing. It took me a week and a half before I was healthy enough to go to another boxing class, and even still I had to take it easy. At first, I thought I didn’t really miss it, I just wanted to prove a point to myself or others about my enjoyment of working out. I was worried I was just faking my love for boxing and that I’d lost my momentum entirely and would never get back the gym.

Yesterday, I proved myself very wrong on that count. I went home from work early in a shitty mood. I was bored, and despite having a ton of work to do, completely unmotivated to do any of it. I walked my dog and, on impulse, drove to the gym. I had planned to wait until Friday or Saturday to go back, but I couldn’t stand it any more. I needed to box.

I was also worried my body wouldn’t handle it well. Not just because of the bronchitis, but because I hadn’t been in awhile. What if all that progress I had made was completely erased by this illness? What if I couldn’t handle it and felt like crap afterwards?

As it turned out, I was completely overreacting. I went to the class and, though I took things slowly, did quite well. I felt amazing afterwards. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed it and how much boxing had become a part of my life.

People tend not to realize how important things are to them, until they are gone from their lives (whether temporarily or forever). Don’t wait until you lose something before you appreciate it. Enjoy the people and activities you love while you have them!

2 thoughts on “Being Yourself While Being Sick

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